I caught a utterly interrupted, commercial infested version of "BeetleJuice" last night.   I was delighted to see that they didn't cut one of the best lines in the movie.   

 

Lydia:  "They wanted to scare you away so they could have their house back.  And you weren't scared.  I think it hurt their feelings and scared them away."

Delia: "Oh come on!  Their dead.  It's a little late to be neurotic."  

 

Last night I laughed out loud.  This morning, I don't find it as funny.  

 

Is death the only thing that can cure my neurosis?  

 

My fear has stolen too much.  I spent my teenage years with my head down because I knew everyone who looked at me would see that I was overweight, un-beautiful, and awkward.  I spent my twenties trying to prove that I wasn't overweight, un-beautiful, and awkward.  In my thirties fretting that I was really hosing my life up.  And so far in my forties, I've been freaked out about getting the rest of my life "right".

 

Yeah.  Neurosis is **really** funny.  

I refuse to allow this to happen anymore in my life.   I'm not really sure how to go about doing that exactly - but, I think I know where to begin: 

 

It's called G*R*A*C*E.  

 

I guess I've always thought of grace as something you get once, for salvation, and then you were on your own to live out your salvation.  Or somehow I believed you were given a supply of grace you could use throughout your life and when it was gone, you were out of luck. 

 

But from what I read in the Bible, grace is something with live under.  It's constant.  It's not bound by time, circumstance, or merit. 

 

Again, I don't really understand what that means yet, but here's what I do know:

What if we spent our energies toward believing in the grace that covers us?  That would require is to let go of what we fear; leaving it in a the heap of garbage we no longer want to carry with us.   We can't hold on to fear and to grace at the same time; one of them has to go. 

 

What rubbish do you want to leave behind?