It’s now been six weeks since the experimental tour ended. I’ve been
spending almost all my time these last few weeks contemplating the next
steps. Should be simple, right?
Nope.
But, I’m a trained project planner with a strategic background. All
my skills should be kicking in and I should know exactly what I’m
supposed to be doing, right?
Not*so*much.
I do know a few things about what I’ll be doing – taken straight from the principles in Luke 10:
- Live a simple and nomadic lifestyle for the next season of my life.
- Inspire and coach other people to dream and dream big for God’s Kingdom.
- Love the broken and bruised people God puts in my path.
- Tell the story well.
That’s it! That’s about all I’m getting in my pleading for **MORE
INFO** from God. Once again, I am being asking to move forward without
the cost/benefit analysis, flowchart, or even a high-level timeline.
I’m headed out on little more than a plan sketched out on a napkin.
Frankly, I’ve been freaking out about it. I feel like I’m walking
around with a big stamp on my forehead that says, I DON’T KNOW WHAT I AM
DOING and I AM CONFUSED ON HOW TO GET THERE.
(Okay, so that wouldn’t fit across my forehead but you know what I meant.)
This morning I took out a fresh sheet of lined paper and started a list: WHAT I DO KNOW:
- God is good and He is good all the time.
- I want to see the world filled with people fully alive with passion and purpose more than anything else in the world.
- I am compelled to do something about.
- I am inadequate for the task.
- With practice, I will get better. With perseverance, the dream will come alive. And with God, nothing is impossible for man.
- I’m wasting time trying to figure it out. A list of stuff on a sheet of paper doesn’t make anything happen.
So, I’m a full-time missionary now. Imperfect and flawed. Unsure of
what it really means to be a missionary. Bent to have occasional
outbursts of basket-case syndrome. But full of passion to see lives
changed and God-given purposes ignite into action and movement.
I’m going to jump off this cliff of uncertainty because I’m compelled with a purpose.
