I just reread my last post.
Wow. I most certainly have crossed over the line between clean,
moderate, acceptable faith and the gooey, change you into a Jesus freak
realm. And I don’t know how it happened!?
There I was, minding my own business, doing church, serving, reading
my Bible, engaging in Bible studies, being an all around good Christian
and *BAM*, God came in and disrupted my groove. I used to be cool.
Now, I’m this weirdo that says things like, “I’m feel God is leading me
to pray about you and your mother right now.” FREAKY!
You either get that look that says, “where is the door? Or you get tears. Neither are terribly great conversation conductors.
The craziest thing about all this weirdness I got going on now is
that…I really like it. There – it’s out…I said it… I like it. I like
the freedom I’m experiencing. I like not being so afraid of what
everyone thinks of me (although I still want you to like me!) I like
seeing God’s hand actively at work in my life.
Matt Chandler has the best quote about spiritual growth:
“He grabbed hold of every part of me and has absolutely ruined me for anything but Him.
The process of sanctification has been and still is quite often a very
difficult one. No one told me (or maybe they did) that Jesus wanted my
heart. I thought there was going to be some behavior modification and
some new friends but I didn’t understand how He was going to search and destroy in me anything that wasn’t of Him.
Nor did I understand how dark my heart truly was and how out of fear,
pride and arrogance I would argue, complain and resist almost every
advance of the Holy Spirit to reconcile every part of my being into
holiness.”
This journey hasn’t been the nice, neat, comfortable ride I was
lead to believe it would be. It’s been messing, often painful, and
rather uncomfortable. However, I find myself more and more comfortable
with my life not looking like I thought it should. NUTTY.
Nice, neat, and comfortable is also utterly boring. There is never a dull moment out here in daffy land!
I’m RUINED…
God never asks us if we are capable or gifted or talented enough to
do His will. He doesn’t ask if we’re strong or wise enough to
handle it. He wants our hearts…our passion… He simply asks, “Are you
IN?” Heart, mind, soul, and strength. R U IN?
Did you catch that play on words? Ruined and R U IN? Cleeeverrrr….
Does Jesus get all of you? R U IN for being ruined for anything else
but Him? Try it. It may be a bit wacky but it will never be boring!
